Thursday, October 20, 2005

Knowing the birth mother is now carrying our child

While I’m waiting I can't help but think of the birth mother and knowing that we will be starting the adoption in 2 months and that it takes, lets say 16 months from now to complete if our daughter is 11 months when we get her then:

9 months pregnancy
+ 11, if she’s 11 months old when we get her
= 20 months
-16 months it will take from now to complete the adoption
=4 months pregnant.

This is the kind of stuff you come up with while waiting. The birth mother now knows she is with out a doubt pregnant. If it’s her first pregnancy she might be just praying it’s a boy and abandon the baby after she finds out that it’s a girl. Wether that’s from pressure from her husband, in-laws, government or both I do not know. Maybe she got pregnant by mistake a second time and is hiding the pregnancy from the authorities hoping to have the baby and take it to the orphanage where she has seen westerners come and take the babies home to America with them. All the while knowing that she is committing a "crime". Some people will know she is pregnant and turn a blind eye. I have read stories of mothers and babies that weren’t so lucky. I hope she is able to leave what is referred to as a finding add. This is left by the mother, with the abandoned child and gives info like when the baby was born. If you are lucky the orphanage will give this to you when you are there to pick up the child.
So I don’t think of the birth mothers as a thoughtless or selfish, but as a women trapped in a situation beyond their control that will give the baby growing inside her a chance at life the only way she knows how. I will thank of her and our daughter often in the coming months.

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