Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Take it and go.

Let me tell you all how I feel right now, and what it felt like to get rejected by CCAI. The best way I know to explain it is to put it into a story. While I use words in the story that I wouldn’t use when talking about SN(special needs) kids and I don't veiw them as charity cases, this is the best way I know how to say what it felt like.

One day there was this family that heard about an organization that helped the kids of the world. They heard that there was going to be a fund raiser to help kids in need, and that if any one was willing to help please come and donate. This family wanted to help even though they weren’t as well off as some. They had worked hard their whole lives to get to the point were they could do some good in the world. They were so excited to be able to help the kids. Excitedly, they got all dress up in their best outfits to go and be a small part of helping to possibly change a childs life. They went down to the donation station to present what they had to give. There was a long line and it was thrilling to see all the people that had turned out. The line moved along slowly but it did move and eventually they got up to the front of the line. There they stepped forward to where the donations were being accepted. The person thanked the family for coming and asked what your family can contribute for the kids. The family knowing that making this donation even as small as it was might bring some hardships down the road that were unknown, however, together with warmth in there hearts they laid down just one dollar.

At this the person who was looking over the donations looked up and asked is this all you have to give? The father, a little shocked by the question spoke up, Yes. Sir, said the collector, you do realize that this is one of the smallest donations we received today, and that there are over 100 people in line behind you willing to give $10.00 or more. Yes, I applauded them for that, the father said, this is what my family can afford to give, and we truly want to help. Well I’m sorry sir you have to be realistic your dollar isn’t going to help many children, you take it and go. In the future if your family is willing to give more then just a dollar come back and see us.

Man that stings

Do I think CCAI is a good agency? Yes one of the best. Would I recommend them to others? Yes, and will contune to they are one of the agencies that dose do a lot of charity work for the kids in China. They have always been helpful. Have a great friendly staff at the office and from what I hear have a a top notch China team as well. The people in the waiting child department have got there hands full of people willing to going to the waiting child program. So with our short list it would be a long time before we got a referral for a waiting child. With so many people already in the waiting child program and with our short list of SN we could get a referral for a NSN child before they matched every one in front of us with a child.
I appreciate the work they do. They have been doing it for a long time now and they are just doing what they think is best for the kids.

I just took this rejection personally. Rejection is hard for anyone, even for me, and I have pretty thick skin. Now it is time to pick myself up off the ground, dust myself off, and get over it. No time for a pity party. I still have a daughter to get ready for, a family to care for, and a business to run.


Anonymous said...

I've been reading your posts after seeing a link to your site on the CCAI WCP yahoo group. I can understand your pain, but please remember that this means that YOUR daughter is not in the waiting child program! We used CCAI for our second China adoption. We returned in June 2006 with our 2 year old son who was born with a cleft lip and palate. The lip was repaired in China, the palate repaired here. I'm not saying it's for everyone, but I will say that so far, it has been MUCH easier than I anticipated. Our son has bonded and joined right into our family as if he'd always been here. Our 3 1/2 year old daughter was also adopted from China, but through GWCA and not in the WC program. BOTH of these kids were obviously meant to be ours. We have two other children as well - an 8 year old son we adopted from Russia when he was a baby, and a 9 year old bio daughter. Our family is just as it should be and so will yours. Interestingly, when we started out in this last adoption, my husband was completely against adopting a cleft affected child. He was scared to death. Somehow he changed his mind, and now he couldn't imagine our lives any other way.
Lastly, just a little story for you. My brother is now 31 years old, but when he was 3, my parents adopted him from Korea. He is a blessing to our family and is so meant to be. Still, there was a time when my parents had to put their adoption on hold and wait for TWO more years because of some job related issues with my Dad. My mother was devestated, but they persevered, and two years later they brought home my brother. We've often discussed how if they had adopted in their first timetable, we wouldn't have my brother. Sure, we'd have a different brother whom we would love too - but I can't imagine not knowing MY brother. He is, and always was, meant for our family. Your daughter is just not there yet. She's on her way - you can count on that. Perhaps you'll realize you are open to more special needs (I'd be happy to talk to you about CL/CP), or perhaps your daughter is waiting for you without any SN...but regardless, your daughter will find you, and then you will be SO glad that you had this 'setback'. Good luck.

Anonymous said...


Just checked in and I'm kind of shocked at your news.. thinking of you and your family!!


Laurie Wells

R&H said...

I can't imagine the feelings you are experiencing hearing this news-but like the other poster said this just means your daughter is somewhere else! You'll find her, I promise you will, it may take longer than expected or be a completely different path but someday everything will end up more perfect than you could ever imagine!