Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Three/four year olds are busy people.

Norah never stops moving that girl can play all day. She is making progress with her sign language and attaching to me. One thing that I have noticed is that she is getting less clingy to Lori but that is only because Lori and I work on it everyday. If we didn't insist that Norah go places with just me or let me get her food, bathe her, and do her hair at the times when she only wants Lori, she would be attached to Lori's hip 24/7. Right now it's only 19/7. I have a feeling that if we let her just have Lori do it every time two things would happen. One Norah would not be making the progress that she has made with me and would just attach to Lori only and two Lori would run away from home.

Norah was born deaf, cute as a button, has a smile that can light up a room, and she is a happy child for most of the day but...she can also throw a world class fit like nobody's business if she either dosen't get her way or dosen't want to do something. I say however that who ever has not thrown a fit in their lives can cast the first stone. She is three almost four years old and fits are a big part of that age to start with. Lori says it's like living with a needy heart surgeon all the time.

If you find yourself in the position of your child attaching to only one person, remember it's a work of love. You can't let your feelings get hurt and give up. It does start to pay off with time.
Norah now does the sign for bath, potty, eat, drink, ect to me when she needs something almost as much as she does to Lori. Most of the day Lori and I are on a somewhat even playing field when it comes to her wanting help from both of us, or playtime inside or out, but every once in a while "Mommy only girl" appears. Most of the time it is when she starts to get tired at night. When the sun goes down she will not climb into my lap like she will during the day. It's cling to Lori time and that's understandable, in time this too will get better.

Lori and I came home to the same family members, home, cars, ect. Everything in our lives that we found comfort in before we left for China was here waiting for us when we got back. Everything in my dear daughters life is new.
After having different types of living situations and multiple "families" how long would it take you to get used to having to trust an all new family, home, life, and to start using sign language when you have really never had a language before in your life. Whe you saw it getting dark outside would you fear that you would fall asleep and everything that you have come to know and love was going to be different again?


Kris said...

Glen, so well put. We are just home for 3 weeks with LuLu who just turned 3! Anyone adopting a toddler really, really needs to know and understand this!! Thanks for posting and being honest.
Norah by the way is so adorable! We were week two in the yahoo travel group Amy C. set up!
Blessings Kristine

Donna said...

Norah's a darlin! Just look at the size of those feet! That's my girl! (I have big feet too!)


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Nachama said...

You made me cry!! What a beautiful post and what a wonderful father you are.

Charlotte said...


I wonder if the fits ever stop ?

I got three kids and they all still can at any given time put on th best fit going, lol !

Though I do think they are less and less, and usually brought on my fatigue or anger !


Amy Cantilina said...

Love this post, Glen. I'm with Kris--we adopted Lilly at age 3 (home just a month now) and are finding the world class tantrum now and then as well. Fewer and farther between, but still there. And she is definitely a mama's girl for now (she wanted baba in China, but now it's me). Taking lots of grace and patience. THanks for posting! She's sure a cutie!