One of these things is not like the others.UPDATE (sesame street reference)

Remember the photos I posted awhile back of the overly large egg that was in with the others to see the results click on the hatched photos below, and look in the middle, funny. I don't know how this will all play out. That middle bird has got a big mouth and will get alot of the food. We will have to just wait and see.
Glen

Got in contact with makers of ADOPTED: THE NEW AMERICAN FAMILY

Please remember I have posted so many of these clips that they are going into previous posts so if you haven't seen all of them yet look there too.
I am very interested in this movie. It is the first one that I have come across that deals with issues that come up in international adoption. I have read books, gone to attachment semionares, belong to a good discussion group in which the things in this movie are discussed daily as more familys come home. From what I have seen they have interveiwed people who know what they are talking about that have delt directly with these issues.
Like food hording is a big one that comes up alot. The way your child might react on the day they are placed in your arms, (he or she) may completely shutdown almost like giving up the first day and then they start to come out of their shell a little in the days to follow as a small amount of exceptance and trust is formed, how to develop strong attachment with both parents, how some times a child can flip out after they have been home for awhile when they here a noise that is comman to us but not to them, and thats just the first few months. While not all children will have the same issues arise we need to know what might come up so that we can be there for our kids.
There will be things to come as they get older in all children when they are trying to find out who they are. Where they fit into this world. In internationally adopted children there are some diffrent issues that will come up. Not all at once but in stages, at diffirent ages, and we as adoptive parents must be on the look out for when these issues come up in our kids so that we can work through them or with them to help them find their place. If you think that you will bring your child home and just say (He or She) is an American now end of story, you need to do some research. You owe it to your child.
Glen

I contacted the makers of "Adopted: The new American Family" they E-mailed me a response. I consider E-mail private so I asked them if I could post it here, they said yes.

Here is their response:
Hi, thanks so much for contacting us at “Adopted: The New American Family.” We really appreciate your interest in our film. We are actually still filming the documentary, with the goal of releasing it sometime this Fall. Keep checking out the website for updates. Thanks so much!

Emma


www.adoptedthemovie.com this is the link to there site where you can find out more about the movie and eye on up comeing news.

Adoption - Over-Stimulation in Adopted Children

Adoption - Health Issues in Adopted Children

Adoption - Post Traumatic Stress in Adopted Children

Adoption - Health Conditions in Orphanages

Adoption - Symptoms of Post-Traumatic Disorder

Adoption: The New American Family

I have been coming across clips of this movie and I will put clips on here as they are put on youtube. Matter a fact I have put so many on here you will need to go into prevous post to view them all. If any one know where I can Buy this movie pleases let me know by posting it in my comments I would love to get a copy. Thanks for your help.
Glen

Adoption - Watch as John and Jacqui Receive Their Referral

Adoption - An Adoptee on her Korean Culture

Adoption - Domestic vs. International Adoption

Adoption - An Adoptee Talks about Intl Adoption

Adoption - An Adoptee on her Mom's Perspective

Adoption - A Korean Adoptee Thinks She's White

Adoption - The Exotification of Asian Women

Adoption - International Adoption as the Last Resort

Adoption - An Adoptee Talks About Racism

Adoption - An Adoptee Talks about Being Called Names

Adoption: Being Chinese In America

Adoption - The Expected Sense of Gratitude

One of these things is not like the others. (sesame street reference)

Every spring we always have a lot of different types of birds take up residence in our backyard. So this year we added a bird house that Lori and I painted in hopes that a family would move in. I'm not quite sure if the hole is big enough for the birds to easily use, but I will leave it up for this year and then perhaps modify the hole this winter if needed. We also put boston ferns on the hooks on the front pourch and every year we have at least two nests to watch as the little eggs turn into little birds and then learn to fly and leave the nest. This year we had this little nest in our ferns within 2 days of hanging them up. The nests always create a challenge for Lori with watering and trimming but she tries to manage them without causing to much trouble for the birds. Lori checked the nest last week and found just one small pale blue egg and today there was an ODD egg that we don't think belongs with the others. The female bird has been sitting on it anyway. Could this be a form of adoption in nature? We will have to see, hopefully the big, speckeled egg hatches. There are usually 1 or 2 eggs that don't hatch out of each group.
The weather here finally turned back decent today and we were able to go for a walk to the park this afternoon. We had a freeze a few nights ago that decimated our crepe myrtles, grape vines and fig tree. Lori went out tonight and trimmed back all of the above mentioned in hopes that they will come back out. Most of the shurbs will have to be retrimmed this week too since the top layer of foliage was burnt by the frost but the underneath part is still ok. We go by the Darwin theory of gardening around here. The strongest survive.

Our friends at church that are also adopting from China were LID on Friday the 13th of this month. We are very excited for them but know that the long wait ahead will be difficult. I know that we are going to get our daughter, eventually but it is still hard to wait. I find myself feeling almost jealous of the people I see interacting with their daughters when I want so badly to have that right now. I would never think of leaving the China program. I know that our daughter will be waiting for us when the time comes but it is just frustrating. Waiting sucks! Enough said.

Physical therapy is now three days a week and is going well. I'm a little sore after each session but even that should improve with time. My two week post op appointment was last Friday and the surgeon was very pleased with my progress. Here's to a speedy and complete recovery.
My Father in law has been taking me to all of my appointments and we can not be more fortunate to have him so close and available. He has been a real God send. Now that I have been cleared to drive maybe he can get some rest.

Brea and her family / I'm still pluging along in therapy

This family needs help getting there story out to people that can and are willing to give them some finachal releaf in this most unfortunate turn of events. It is so messed up that a family that trys to do right thing by haveing medical insurance for there family. When they reach out for help from the local goverments they get there hand slapped. But if this family was liveing off the state they would have medacaid there medacations would be probly be payed for too boot If you have given donations to this family I thank you, some time in your life you will be repayed for your kindness. The link below is her site that will take you to her home page then go to childrens hospital. I still am going to phiscal therapy every day and go back to the neroseragon tomarrow for a check up I am still week in my left leg but that is to inprove in the next cupple of weeks. I hope the doctor oks me to drive during my checkup I would like to be able to get out and about.
Glen


Just look at the sprit of this child, going strong inspite of such an ordeal. Brea is a amaizing lession in the sperit of life for us all.

Brea and her loveing ever vigel mom.

http://www.babyjellybeans.com/web/do/site/home?ID=195242&parent_id=175411

Happy Easter!!! from the Pig, I mean Bunny.

Happy Easter! The picture is of the green ceramic pig that is the "centerpiece" of our kitchen table. He gets dressed up for holidays and has donned his bunny ears for Easter.

The adoption wait is LOOOOONG and tedious as everyone in our same position knows all to well. We were just discussing how in July of this year it will be 1 whole year since we were LID. The time seems to fly by and stand still all at the same time. Home improvement has stopped around the house as I am slowly recovering from surgery. I am now able to get around without the walker which will now be stored away for when Lori's grandmother comes for visits and needs one or in the case that one of us may need it again. I still have my brace on and will have to continue to wear it until the Doctor says I can take it off. Physical therapy starts in 3 days a week this coming Monday. The pain is gone but I still have quite a bit of weakness and numbness in my Left leg, all of which I have been informed is perfectly normal.

The back and front yard are looking great. Lori has been planting flowers, hostas and ferns, oh my. She doesn't want me posting a picture till she can get the mulching done. We put up our ferns on the front pourch last weekend and already have "tenents" moving in. I can't wait for the baby birds to hatch.

More frequent updates to come, as I have ALOT of time on my hands.

Glen

Brea got a donor heart! I got a new spine!

Brea has been given a gift, a donor heart. She is doing well, you can check up on her at the links in the previous post.
After a very painful 2 weeks I finally got some relief on Thursday. The neurosurgeon did a spinal fusion at L4L5 and L5S1 so thats 3 vertabrae that will no longer have movement in them. I shouldn't have to go through this type of relentless maddening pain again.
When the surgeon got into my spine he found a huge piece of disc wedged into the siatic nerve at L5S1 and when he looked at L4L5 the disc had protruted clean out into the nerve area and was sitting on the nerve and the ganglia. So they took bone/disc out of the spaces in between the vertabrae at both levels. Then they screwed the fusion cages into these spaces between the vertabrae.
Then the surgeon took the pieces of bone they removed and ground it up with a chemical that makes the crushed bone cling together and packed that paste into the cages so that my bone will grow together. I am so glad he used this method because I have heard that if they take bone from your hip that the hip paon is worse than the post-op back pain.
We got to the hospital at 5:30 am and I was up walking around with physical therapy, with the assistance of a walker by 2:00 pm and was home by 8:00pm the same day. Now three days later I am moving around more and the pain from surgery isn't even half of what I was feeling before the operation. I am still having to walk with a walker because my left leg is numb from the nerves being so aggrevated (I have been assured that this is normal and that feeling will gradually return over the next few weeks to months) and weak, still i can see myself not needing a walker to get around the house by Tuesday of this next week. Soon I will be able to start physical therpy. I am already going out with Lori when ever I can to work on the weakness in my left leg. I was told by the surgeon that I will be out for 3-6 mounths and I am going to do what it take to make the 3 month back to work mark if possible. Below you can see my spine with the titanium ally cages are in place. The other big metal pieces on the x-rays are from the retractor used during surgery.
The picture of me laying on the kitchen floor was from a few days before the surgery. Lori was cooking dinner and so I laid in the floor to talk to her.

Here's to a swift recovery.

Glen

Discogram results weren't good.

Alot has happened in the last couple of days. Lots of appointments with specialists trying to get to to the root of my problem. My neurosurgeon wanted to try somethings first, steroid injections at the site, medications for pain and inflammation, but nothing helps with the constant disabling pain. The final nail in the coffin was the discogram yesterday. It showed without a doubt that I have herniated discs at L5 S1 as shown on the MRI but my surgeon was also thinking, and so was I, that L4 L5 disc had ruptured again and was an additional source of the pain and the discogram confirmed his suspicions. It would have been devastating to have surgery at L5S1 only to have to go back in again for L4L5. The L4L5 was the area I had surgery on the first time, an L4L5 discectomy in 2004 trying not to fuse the vertebrate. I was told by the surgeon that did my first surgery that the disc could rerupture in 1 year or be fine the rest of my life, there was just no way of knowing. With my luck it was just a matter of time.
Now 2 years later I am about to go under the knife again with a new neurosurgeon and a more surious surgery with an increased recovery time ahead of me. I will have the disc at L4L5 and L5S1 shaved down and have Ray(brand name of the implants) threaded fusion devices implanted between the vertebrae, then bone from my hip will be placed inside the cages to grow together which should take away my pain. I go in for this on 3/29/2007 so it my be awhile after wards before I can sit here at the computer. I remember the last back surgery, not a fun time. I plan to make a total recovery from this surgery but I will have to be out of work for 3 months talk about boring. It is my hope that after this I will be able to carry Norah around all that I want without pain. Below are some pictures of the procedure.
Glen

Brea got a Berlin heart! I need a new spine.

Any of you following along with Brea's blog know that she has been given a chance at more time to wait for a donor heart to come available and to increase her strength. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers as she still has a long way to go, but she is a fighter. After she received her Berlin heart she decided she was tired of the hospital and was going home. That a girl Brea. Please keep checking in on Brea and her family. Unlike me her mom updates every day, http://www.babyjellybeans.com/web/do/site/photo?ID=187377&parent_id=175411 if you can help this family you will not reget it.
I have been having to deal with the very thing that lead us to adoption from China in the first place. They think that one of the lower discs in my back has herniated again and I may require surgery again to get back to my normal routine. I should know in a couple of days, after a discogram (sounds like something from Saturday Night Fever doesn't it) what course of action needs to be taken. Although I am not looking forward to the possibility of surgery, if it will reduce the amount of pain and get me up and moving again then lets get going.
If I do have surgery and am home recoveing afterwards for 10 to 12 weeks at least this blog will get updated more frequently. Lori has asked however that I don't update when my pain meds are at their peak. I believe the term was "drunk posting".
This is Glen, signing off from the recliner.
Good night sweet Brea, keep on fighting.
Glen

Youtube's I came across wile Waiting for Norah.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iC2rmCRQRKQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FB1S6LRBo8s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbA13Exil3c

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kgB2qGK3ts

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYIpxXS8WiM

It is a fact of life. Sad and to quick but a fact none the less.

Brandon went to his first "formal" or actually semi-formal last night. We were informed about the formal 18 hours in advance .("Oh, there's a dance that I invited a girl to tomorrow and it is a formal so I need to where my suit.") This is the same suit that he hadn't put on in 5 mounths and might have grown out of since he's 4 inches taller than he was when we bought it for him.) These are the things that our kids spring on us at 10:00 P.M. with no remorse what so ever. Lori, stayed up after working 16 hours and iorned his suit and a dress shirt for him, then the next day after work I had to clean my truck up. I didn't clean it up just for vanitys sake but I do work in a dusty environment and some of that dust tends to get on me and then into my truck and we can't very well go pick up Brandon's date and get dust on her dress.
Speaking of his date, when Brandon went to pick her up he had to go inside to talk to her Dad and Mom. Lori and I stayed out in the truck so as not to "cramp" his style. When they got into the truck his date said it is a good thing that he didn't say anything stupid because "My Dad dosen't like any of the guys that I know but you did good. Lori said, Oh honey that's his job right now.

So we went back to our house to take some pictures. Brandon's friend has braces on so I couldn't get her to smile for the camera. Old ham boy on the other hand was more that willing to participate.
They had a good time and everyone got home safe.
Allthough we are not ready to let our kids go they seem to grow up any way. It is a fact of life. The trick is to give them guidance as they grow up so that they will become productive members of society. In a few short months Brandon will turn 16. Lori and I know that after we got our licenses our parents didn't see as much of us because we were running around being 16 year olds. We had to make a little extra effort to get the photos of Brandon with his date but we will be glad that we did when it is time for him to go off on his own. Our son is turing into a man in a little over 2 years he will be able to vote and will have to register with selective service as I did. We hope he stays home for college but we don't know what the future holds. He could get a scholarship to a college hundreds of miles away and only be home for the holidays. My time for guidance with Brandon is getting shorter but he will always be my son and I will always be his Dad. We as Father and Son are about to enter into a new point in our relationship. I love you son and I am proud of the man your becoming.
Glen

Lucky find.

I came home from work today and Lori had a suprise for me. Well not exactly for me, but I was happy to see it never the less . It is for Norah, a Fisher/price Little People doll and her name is Sonya Lee , It says on the case that she's a sweet little girl with a special ability to understand animals. She can tell how they're feeling!
I love that it is not your run of the mill blond long legged doll. In fact it is the second doll we have found just out and about that is Asian. It is also touching that my little girl will play with this doll. For now I will keep it safe for her.

In other exciting news a little girl (locally) is to come home with her Mom next month, Feb 15. What a remarkable story too. I don't know if you caught it but it was on the national news. I think Katey Curick did the story before she became the anchor of the CBS nightly news.

This little girl was brought to the U.S. by LWB (Love Without Boundries) to Arkansas childrens hospital for surgery on a hemangoma on her face. while here and while she was recovering from surgery she stayed with a family from the Our local FCC that are the adoptive parents for 3 kids from China(the couple are some of the nicest people anyone could hope to meet) . While the story of this little girl coming from China to the U.S. for surgery in and of itself is remarkable it gets better. The real story here is that the little girl stole the surgeons heart that did her operation, so much so that surgeon started putting together a dossier for adoption to make this little girl a part of her family. Months have gone buy, and the little girl had to return to China while her Mom worked on filing all the paperwork for a China adoption, that part is finally over and now it is time for for the little girl to come home. If I find out that the national news is going to do an up date I will try to post what channel and time.

Glen

New regulations for addopting from China adoption

As most of you know China will soon have new regulations for adoption set by the CCAA. They will go into effect on May 1, 2007. The new restrictions will not affect us because we are already logged into the China center for adoption affairs. Everyone logged in after that date must meet the new regulations. China announced the new changes now so that the people already paper chasing that don't meet the new regulations will have time to get logged in before they take effect. Also, I have heard information that they will do special needs kids diffrently. From what I have heard agencies will no longer have the Waiting Children lists, the CCAA will put all of the waiting childrens pictures and profiles up on their site. Probably password protected so you will need to be approved by an agency to veiw them. I can't comfirm this yet because it is not in writing. But if it is true then people will be able to see all the waiting kids and not just the ones on thier agency lists. They won't have to go with one particular agency just because the child they are drawn to is on that agencies list. The only thing I think that is both a blessing for the children and will be hard for the families to deal with is that there will be multiple families sending in hier letters of intent for the same kids and the CCAA will have to go through them and decide which family will be given the opportunity to adopt the child. So families will again be waiting with no way of knowing if they have a child. But with the new system I think that more waiting children will be placed at a faster rate. It is rumored that this may go into effect as soon as Feb. of this year.

Below are some links that I came accross that deal with the wait I thought I would share.

Glen

http://www.redthreadkids.org/i-will-wait.htm

http://www.redthreadkids.org/patience.htm

Imperial guards for Christmas. Our little boy not so little anymore.

Lori got me 2 imperial guards modeled after the ones that the first Emperor of China had made to protect him in the after life. These replicas will now stand guard over our house from the hallway. We had a good Christmas this year, everyone is healthy and happy thats what is most important. At the begining of our adoption journey we had hoped to have Norah home for this Christmas but now with the slow down we are hoping to have her home by Next Christmas. I know that we are not alone in these thoughts as other families all over the world that were paper chasing and were loged in over in China the same time we were are hoping for a speed up in referals, at least we are hoping not to have them slow down anymore. My best guess after looking at the lastest on referals, and asking friends who are also adopting in the China program what they think, it looks like March 2008, but we should know alot more by next Christmas.






Our son has gotten alot taller over the last year. He has grown so fast that he actually has strech marks because his skin couldn't keep up. He is tall now and will be old enough to drive next July (2007), scary. I think we will put a tracking system on his car so we can keep up with him, I'm not kidding. We are also lucky enough to have lived in our little town for the majority of his life so we have the benefit of people about town knowing who he is and who he belongs to. We got him a new cell phone this Christmas that takes pictures and will shoot up to 14 mins. of video. It's also an mp3 player, and has unlimited internet and mobie TV on it so he can watch regular tv shows on comedy central, discovery channel, vh1, ect. I will bet that he will get caught at least once this year watching the TV on his phone during class it is just a matter of time. He is a good kid that stays out of trouble most of the time so while the phone with it's monthly service is a little on the expensive side it is one of the rewards that we as parents agreed to give him for staying out of trouble, keeping his grades up and basically being a good member of society. He is so looking forward to being a big brother to Norah and we are sure that she will have him wrapped around her little finger before we even get back from China. He is kind hearted and good with small children. It is funny, he is so far ahead of other kids his age in his thoughts, insights, and ability to talk through difficulties, and at the same time he is right where a normal 15 year old should be. Lord, help us all when he starts driving on his own. Well mostly help us because it will just be the beginning of him making a HUGE move towards independance and adulthood. We still can't help but to occasionally see him as the little 2 year old streaking through the house after bath time with a towel on his head.
Glen

New kitchen with new sink/baby tub.

I haven't posted in awhile, sorry. We finally got around to remodeling the kitchen. We have been putting it off for a while, because of the expence and because of the idea of going without a kitchen for a couple of weeks, and finding a couple of weeks in which to do it. I had a job that I had lined up to do get pushed back a few weeks, so me and Lori started ripping the old kitchen out with reckless abandon not knowing when the next opportunity with me have a week straight off was going to come. The floor was in need of repair, the people who used to own the house had let a faucet leak for years judging by the number of floor joists I had to replace. It took 2 weeks and we still have to have doors made by a cabinet shop that make all my doors for me but it is so nice to have a working kitchen again. We used traverteen and tumbeled marble on the counter top and back splash and put in lots of outlets , a vent a hood that vents to the outside , fridge with ice and water in the door, garbage disposal, none of which we had before. The two things I love are the sink to give Norah her bath in (a back saver compared to bending over the tub in the bathroom), and the wall of glass with the sliding door and 6foot6in x3foot window over the sink that looks out over the back yard. Dishes aren't so bad with a butiful view.
Glen

Take it and go.

Let me tell you all how I feel right now, and what it felt like to get rejected by CCAI. The best way I know to explain it is to put it into a story. While I use words in the story that I wouldn’t use when talking about SN(special needs) kids and I don't veiw them as charity cases, this is the best way I know how to say what it felt like.

One day there was this family that heard about an organization that helped the kids of the world. They heard that there was going to be a fund raiser to help kids in need, and that if any one was willing to help please come and donate. This family wanted to help even though they weren’t as well off as some. They had worked hard their whole lives to get to the point were they could do some good in the world. They were so excited to be able to help the kids. Excitedly, they got all dress up in their best outfits to go and be a small part of helping to possibly change a childs life. They went down to the donation station to present what they had to give. There was a long line and it was thrilling to see all the people that had turned out. The line moved along slowly but it did move and eventually they got up to the front of the line. There they stepped forward to where the donations were being accepted. The person thanked the family for coming and asked what your family can contribute for the kids. The family knowing that making this donation even as small as it was might bring some hardships down the road that were unknown, however, together with warmth in there hearts they laid down just one dollar.

At this the person who was looking over the donations looked up and asked is this all you have to give? The father, a little shocked by the question spoke up, Yes. Sir, said the collector, you do realize that this is one of the smallest donations we received today, and that there are over 100 people in line behind you willing to give $10.00 or more. Yes, I applauded them for that, the father said, this is what my family can afford to give, and we truly want to help. Well I’m sorry sir you have to be realistic your dollar isn’t going to help many children, you take it and go. In the future if your family is willing to give more then just a dollar come back and see us.

Man that stings

Do I think CCAI is a good agency? Yes one of the best. Would I recommend them to others? Yes, and will contune to they are one of the agencies that dose do a lot of charity work for the kids in China. They have always been helpful. Have a great friendly staff at the office and from what I hear have a a top notch China team as well. The people in the waiting child department have got there hands full of people willing to going to the waiting child program. So with our short list it would be a long time before we got a referral for a waiting child. With so many people already in the waiting child program and with our short list of SN we could get a referral for a NSN child before they matched every one in front of us with a child.
I appreciate the work they do. They have been doing it for a long time now and they are just doing what they think is best for the kids.

I just took this rejection personally. Rejection is hard for anyone, even for me, and I have pretty thick skin. Now it is time to pick myself up off the ground, dust myself off, and get over it. No time for a pity party. I still have a daughter to get ready for, a family to care for, and a business to run.
Glen

We have joined CCAI's waiting child program.

We took a big step in the adoption of Norah today by sending in our waiting child checklist. We have always talked about if we were to adopt a second time from China that we would adopt a special needs child. After much research and having talked to many people in the China adoption community who have adopted SN kids we have decided that we will send in our checklist to CCAI for a waiting (special needs) child. CCAI has a program where you fill out a medical check list on what special needs your family is open to and then if they receive information on a child with a special need that is on your list they will call you and give you some information on that child. If you want more information on that particular child then they will send you a more detailed history which will help you decide if you are willing to adopt that child.

We will still be in the traditional adoption program at the same time so that if they do not end up matching us with a child in the waiting child program then we will still receive a referal for a child through the traditional program. CCAI trys to go through all the medical checklists in the order they were received and match kids with people according to the specials needs that they are willing to consider. Right now ,if you are requisting a SN girl, they are working on check list from March and April so if you do the math, and I admit I have, then we might get a call some time in March of 2007. However, here lies the rub, I said they try to match in order of when the checklist comes in but if you are the only one that is open to a certin SN, even if you just sent in your paperwork they will call you. Because of this you can get a call at anytime, you just dont know. CCAI's ultimate goal is to find homes for the waiting children in the program and just because you haven't been in the program as long they are not going to let a file go back to CCAA. They are going to call the first person open to adopting the child with that particular need. In my opinion this is best for the kids that they are trying to find homes for and I support it whole heartidly. If you think you might be interested in this program you can go to the CCAI link at the top of the page. If you would like to research a SN go to www.medlineplus.com and look it up under the the medical encyclopedia, it will give you alot of information and will tell you what might be linked to certain conditions, what the prognosis is, what disease might be related to, ect. Like did you know that 1 in 1000 caucations are born with cleft lip. This will help you deceide what you can/are willing to handle. I would recommend that if you get information on a specific child that you talk directly to a physician/specailist or 2 in that field, this will allow you to make an informed decision for you, the child, and your family. This is a life long commitment don't take it lightly.
Glen